All The Reasons Why
by KawaiiKiller
Summary: Be careful Matt, he's not who you think.


**_Hey everone this is my very first ever like EVER so please be kind.. ah hell with it, tell me its shit and i can go die in a hole, a review is a review and hey, i take advice well.. BUT NOT IF ITS ABOUT DUCKS._**

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_I will build my walls i'll set my limits, I will make sure my fences are high, and I'll watch the stars fade into light, hoping that one day, these fences will be climbed. -Darian Howard_

**_Chapter One: Fences_**

It was like everything inside of me was on fire, I was burning, my skin tingling as the waves of pain crashed over me, and just like that, it was gone. Lingering like the ocean dampening the shore.

My emerald eyes were closed. My breath was caught in the cage of my bones, I kept it there, and released the smoke.

The poison, and just like that, the hurt was replaced with pleasure. I swear this was going to _kill_ me.

I looked down at the cigarette, and smothered it out with my foot as soon as it crashed against the shingles of the roof.

I'm barely a teenager, and I do a lot of adult things, but it isn't a surprise.

I'm not mentally a kid.

If I was mentally a kid I would be _here._ At this god for saken orphanage, I would rather be homeless, this place is just a reminder of how shitty life is.

Can't I live in bliss? Can't I have a childhood with parents?

No, of course not.

Not me.

Not Mail.

My body swung down to my window and I jumped inside, silently. But who was I going to wake up? I was the lucky orphan that didn't have to pair up with a kid. Good. No one here likes me.

The sun had already risen and I checked my digital alarm clock, everyone would be waking up in 10 minutes, so I went to my closet and grabbed a random pair of jeans and a shirt and went on my way down to the shower rooms.

I should of gone sooner- but it's one of the many perks to being a hardcore insomniac. Getting up before everyone else does, warm water, and I don't have to deal with actually possibly conversing with someone.

Once I got down their, I smiled my little victory smile as I realized I was the only one here right now.

I stripped down quickly and jumped in, the water warm and relaxing as it poured over my skin.

I sighed heavily exhaling out all of my isolation, nights alone really take a toll on people like me, who think of things like I do.

A few familiar voiced echoed throughout the stalls.

"Yeah, pretty weird huh?"

"Totally, a new kid- Do we need anyone else in this place?"

"How far we are in,- this kid _has_ to be good, I mean their practically _begging _him to come here."

"I herd he's homeless, did you see him?"

"He looks gay."

I twisted the knobs of the shower and the water dripped and then went silence, I towled off my hair and chest before looping it around my waist and walking out to the sinks and slipping on my boxers and black jeans.

"Woah hey Matty!"

I didn't make eye contact as my bully walked over to me.

"Hey Matt, how you been?"

He could hide whatever he wanted behind false words and false actions, I didn't like him. He's gave me hell since i've walked through these gates. I glared at him for a split second and threw my shirt over my body and rustled my crimson hair in the mirror.

"So you're just gonna pretend I don't exist?"

I walked past him, honestly, I just wanted to be left alone. But his two toolhead friends had shoved me back into him, I could feel him pressed against my back and before I got to do anything he shoved me to the ground.

"Fuck off Jess." I spat, the only thing supporting me were my arms, and once he leaned in and touched his nose to mine, and taunted, "Make me." My left arm shot up and connected with his jaw, making a loud crack noise.

I scrambled to my feet as fast as I could, but his friends braked me by gripping my shoulders, Jess got up and punched me in the stomach, leaving me breathless.

I don't know how long I layed there, waiting for my head to stop spinning, blood to stop coming out of my mouth, but when I did come back. I got up and I didn't have to look to know he had bruised me. He always does.

Fuck everyone.

Once I turned the corner around to the double doors, I took off into a sprint upstairs and straight into my bedroom, it was safe there.

Away from everyone else, finally as invincible as my virtual characters in which I vent out in. I love video games, they're emotional escapes. Better that

cigarettes better than the pain of burns on you're arm better than anything i've ever felt. Different world, different me. And I let the virtual worlds consume me.

I herd footsteps down the hallway, and because my room is basically

Ii followed the crowd downstairs, we usually always stayed in our rooms on weekdays, some studying or sleeping or watching foltered T.V, because there was nothing else to do around here.

I glanced over at Roger who motioned me to come towards him.

"Hey, you're going to have a room-mate."

"A what?" I asked in disbelief.

"It won't be so bad, Matt- You're the only one with an extra bed in their room."

I pouted slightly, I like my space.

I like being completely isolated in my own little world of silence, video games, poison, and insomnia. I like that. I don't like change.

A car engine revved outside as a sleek black car parked in front of Whammies orphanage.

I remember when I was in that car. I remember the welcome I got, that made me feel even more lost.

They said I am finally home, but this isn't home.

Home isn't a place where people judge you.

The orphans stood in a straight line, as if it were a very practiced routine, and I thought about how many times a new orphan had came, and how that for some people this isn't the first time.

I stood next to Roger as a blonde pre-teen came emerging from the door, a black backpack thrown over his shoulder, his entire outfit was black, he had swooped bangs that covered up his forehead, and piercing blue eyes.

"Everyone, this is _Mello_, Mello... Welcome to Whammies."

He nodded his head slightly at everyone, in a way he looked rather wierded out. I didn't blame him. At all.

"Mello come with me, so we can finish up you're registration," Roger said, motioning for him to follow.

Mello did so obediently, looking slightly back at me, our eyes connected, and it sent volts of electricity down my spine and he looked away and went up the stairs.

What the hell was that?

_**Hey everyone, Im sorry if the first chapter was rather dreary, I just had to get things started you know? Anyways review! I'll update a day sooner for every review- just let me know what you think, im really unsure about this and I would really like your opinion, because it matters to me.. so thanks for reading!**_


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